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Scene: Tenth grade art. Assignment: Still-life. I had a vision. I would draw a still-life, yes, but I would go above and beyond the call of duty. I wouldn’t just draw a still-life, no no, I would stipple.

And what a mistake that turned out to be. When I think of the sheer number of hours I spent making tiny little dots on a sheet of paper to complete this picture, my hand aches. It came out with a strange cubist perspective, which was unintentional, but let’s go with it. That’s a salt shaker, a nail polish bottle, a mortar and pestle, and in the background, a cat mola. And, of course, Catch-22. Which is worlds better than this drawing.