My Physics teacher gave us the assignment, one weekend, of writing about how the law of Conservation of Energy relates to methods of paranormal investigation. This was basically a “let’s give the people who are failing a chance to pass” assignment. As you can imagine, I did not take this assignment seriously.

In the beginning, there was nothing.

Then lots of stuff happened, and there were people. And with people came death, and with death came feelings of insecurity and fear. So these people invented ghosts and spirits, as a way of calming themselves and providing a sense of safety and knowledge of the great beyond.

Then science was invented. The people were very angry. They screamed and yelled and cried. They marched with torches. They occasionally took showers, but very occasionally.

Then, one day, a man realized that he could make science work for him; he could pretend that it proved everything he stood for– after all, science was made for manipulation. So he did this, and claimed that it was indisputable, because it was science, and science is indisputable. Years later, he was hit by a meteorite which was then struck by lightning from a storm which caused flash flooding, which was exacerbated by the tsunami that was caused by an earthquake.
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