The Evolution of Elise
May 24th, 2002I was an adorable kid. My little button nose combined with my big sticking-out ears and tousled hair guaranteed “awww”s wherever I went. All of my baby pictures are, frankly, so cute you could vomit.
Then I hit puberty. My nose was neither little nor button-like, my hair took on new levels of tousledness, and my ears… well, they stayed the same. I was no longer sweet and adorable, I was… AWKWARD.
But my features eventually congealed into a static position, forming what you now know as Elise, webmistress of bottledair.org. I may not be cute enough to make you vomit anymore, but at least I’m not ugly enough to make you vomit anymore, either. My face has gone through a lot. This is its story.
THE CUTE YEARS
 Zero years old |
 One year old |
 Two years old |
 Three years old |
 First year of preschool |
 Second year of preschool |
THE STRAIGHT-HAIR YEARS
 Kindergarten |
 First grade |
 Second grade |
 Third grade |
AWKWARD YEARS, PART ONE: THE TOMBOY PHASE
 Fourth grade |
 Fifth grade |
 Sixth grade |
AWKWARD YEARS, PART TWO: THE REALLY AWKWARD YEARS
 Seventh grade |
 Eighth grade |
 Ninth grade |
STAGE FIVE: RESOLUTION
 Tenth grade |
 Eleventh grade |
 Twelfth grade |
Well, there you have it, folks. Keep it moving, nothing to see here.